Elation, relief and a sense of adventure fills me as I undock from the station.
My ship groans and shifts under the stress from the giant thrusters.
Minmatar design, what can you expect.. but to be fair, it is fully loaded.
All my belongings, ships and equipment, down to the smallest pocketknife, i have with me.
The voices are quiet now, contempt.. yes this is it, I might make it after all.
For too long have I sat in this station, waiting for something to happen!
The billboards, the endless adverts claiming that glory in battle was to be found in nullsec.
"we train you, we prepare you for a life of battle" they said.. among others.. empty words.
Let me explain.. I have.. certain needs. An accident involving a broken pod has left me with voices in my head, talking to me, screaming at me.. urging me.. it is a long story, but for now, know that if I do not give in to their whims, they get strong enough to "take over" and while I cannot remember what happens during those times, it cant be pretty.
So "Yar" as I have dubbed him, my darker chaotic side, demands explosions, mayhem.. chaos.
No medecines have quieted them, no remedies I have found, but to give in.
So when I read the ads I talked of, the ones of the chaotic life of nullsec.. I thought I had the answer to my problems.
They promised tutoring, roaming gangs of destruction and much more in preparation for what was to come.
I quickly realized that my bloodlust would not be sated, and by the time they would let me fly down there, I would be lost.
The one lesson they held was about the rules and regulations that was in effect in nullsec.. the supposedly chaotic environment seems completely the opposite!
I cant be a drone in a big hive! set on guard duty for a month or so before I can even test my wings!
The voices became louder.
So I leave. Last night my silly-crazy side, the one whispering the gibberish "Gok" had taken over and spray-painted my ship pink.
Also, my guns now seems to shoot bubbles.. this wont do.
The sun in this system hits my ship as it exits orbit around the nearby planet, the light fills me with hope, energy and purpose.
The universe shall burn.
When all is quiet in the aftermath of genocide, maybe I will find peace.
But how? where? I care not, just set the nav systems to a random spot far away.
"Yar" whispers something in that creepy voice about pirates.
Yes, I read some newsfeeds about "ebil pirates causing mayhem"
Maybe this is it?
The thought soothes me even further and even "Gok" stops his constant giggle and starts to sing.. quietly, with his child-like voice.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me...